also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize