What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
