Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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