How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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