I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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