can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
