He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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