Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
