If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
