He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
