who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
