Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
