normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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