great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
