I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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