Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize