Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm drive I can fine osifer
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
