took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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