I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He better not be in your backpack
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize