why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
