i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
