OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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