i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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