Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
