Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
