I think I am morally bankrupt
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
