At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
