Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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