I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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