and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
