What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
