so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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