You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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