Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
