I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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