He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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