I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize