Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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