even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
