oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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