it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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