Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
