You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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