? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
