Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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