Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
