would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
