Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize