By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
