I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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