I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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