His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Randomize
