it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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