you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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