Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
