He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
