we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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