I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
