U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
