Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
