that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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