I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
